Name it.
Tame it.com
This is a home for one old, simple way of seeing hard times. Essays, true stories, events and small tools, with a book on the way.
Life has shown me all of it. Sadness with no clear cause. A body that let me down. Relationships that weren't what I hoped. Work that feels less certain as AI arrives. And the quiet question: is a roof and bread enough, or is it never enough?
For years I looked for tools. Not to escape hard times, but to stop making them bigger than they are.
The idea is simple.
Name it: what am I feeling right now?
Tame it: what is really happening, and what is one sensible next step?
Then act, instead of spiralling.
Journal
- Name it at work: saying the hard thing without the dramaAt work the hard thing often goes unsaid until it explodes. How to name it calmly, with lessons from the daily scrum, the retrospective and SAFe's Inspect and Adapt.Read the essay →
- Name the problem before you solve itMost of the time I waste goes into solving the wrong problem. Why naming the problem comes first, with a plain lesson from Scrum and SAFe.Read the essay →
- Measure what you want, not what is easy: picking one number that mattersA few years ago I wanted to feel closer to my friends. So, being the sort of person who likes a list, I started counting. Messages sent. Birthdays…Read the essay →
- Scope it before you fight it: naming a problem at workThere's a particular kind of work worry that doesn't have a shape. It isn't one task. It's a cloud. "Everything with the new client is a mess." "The team…Read the essay →
- Name It, Tame It, Frame It, Fix It: A Way Out of Money Stress for People Who Feel StuckMoney trouble feels like weather. It isn't. Four plain steps to turn financial fear into a plan, whatever you earn and wherever you live.Read the essay →
- After you name it: how to find one sensible next stepNaming a hard thing gives it edges. Then comes the part people skip: one small, sensible next step. A plain way to find it, borrowed from Scrum and SAFe.Read the essay →
- One worry, one line: a five-minute naming habit for the eveningA five-minute evening habit: pick the loudest worry, write it in one specific sentence, close the notebook, and leave the solving for the morning.Read the essay →
- Name the goal, tame the goal: writing a goal you can actually checkA wish becomes a goal when it has edges you can check: meaning what, what will be true by then, and a tiny first step.Read the essay →
- A small word list for naming what you feelA short list of feeling words, grouped so you can find a better name than "fine" when something is hard.Read the essay →
- The "Name it" sheet, walked throughA filled-in example of the free one-page Name it sheet, box by box, so you know what to write on a hard morning.Read the essay →
- Name it, tame it in three steps: a plain how-to for a hard feelingNotice it, name it, then tame it with one small step. A plain three-step how-to for a hard feeling on an ordinary morning.Read the essay →
- What "name it, tame it" is, and why it was never newName it, tame it is not a new idea. From Marcus Aurelius, Genesis and Rumi to Dewey and Wittgenstein: why naming a hard thing gives it edges.Read the essay →
- Laces Tied in the Age of AIWhat a seventeen-year-old in a labour camp taught me about losing my place in the world.Read the essay →
- The Eight Forms of Capital, RevisitedEight kinds of wealth we never counted, and which of them change when the ground shifts.Read the essay →
The book
The book · Coming in 2027
Name the F, Tame the F
A book about staying functional when life gets hard. I’m writing it now and sharing the journey here.